Being Unequally Yoked

[Pastor Weekly]

Most, if not all of you, are familiar with the passage in which being tied together with an unbeliever in a relationship is condemned. Pretty strong language is used in said condemnation. What are your thoughts about this issue today. It seems like a lot of Christians within our more permissive and open-minded society have no problem dating someone of another faith. What say you?

Stay away from people who are not followers of the Lord! Can someone who is good get along with someone who is evil? Are light and darkness the same?  [15]  Is Christ a friend of Satan? Can people who follow the Lord have anything in common with those who don't?  [16]  Do idols belong in the temple of God? We are the temple of the living God, as God himself says, "I will live with these people and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people."  [17]  The Lord also says, "Leave them and stay away! Don't touch anything that isn't clean. Then I will welcome you  [18]  and be your Father. You will be my sons and my daughters, as surely as I am God, the All-Powerful."

[angel]

I don't know many people who date and marry outside of their religion even denomination. There are however those who date and marry non-believers in the hope I assume to convert them to Christianity or their denomination.

Personally I have a problem dating someone who isn't a believer, because of the issue of being unequally yolked. Its hard enough being gay in a society that doesn't accept you, it'd be even harder (for me) when your lover believes that what they do is wrong and feel guilty all the time, or they don't think its wrong but have nothing no substance to justify that belief.

I've heard of very sour relationships because of conflict in religion or beliefs, I've heard also of violent relationships because of that. Then again I've read of relationships that have survived, grown and have had children in families where the parents each have different religious beliefs or denominational beliefs. I think it's possible but I think ultimately there's some conflict when that's done, or at most it strains the relationship.

I don't know Biblical references but being raised in a Christian home I'd love to see that same unity and value brought about through religion (in this case my Christianity) into my relationship.

*I think if I continue writing I'll be going in circles, very sleepy*

[Sozo]

Such a great topic. I am a firm believer in being equally yoked, and I even carry it a step further and apply it to all areas of life. When people believe two different things, or are at two different points in their life be it physical maturity or spiritual maturity it's a breading ground for conflict. I have personally seen in the lives of those around me this cause many relationships and even marriages to fail.

[Pastor Weekly]

For my part, I'm very much against such relationships, on multiple levels. First, on just a practical/natural level, I just don't see how a faithful, committed Christian could be satisfied or happy in a relationship in which the chief component of his/her life, the single greatest thing that defines him/her as a person is not shared with the partner. Of course, not every Christian is actively engaged in his/her relationship with Christ; but for someone who is truly sold to the Lord, who truly loves Him and pursues Him with his/her whole heart, I just don't see it.

On the spiritual level, it seems to me that who I am, body, soul, and spirit, belong first and foremost to Christ. It seems sacrilegious to take that which is sanctified unto God and tie it up with someone who doesn't even know Him. As Paul said in the verse quoted above, what fellowship and accord can two hearts be on when one heart is in love with the Lord, and the other one is not?

I can't even date someone who is a Christian but isn't truly committed to their walk. We're just in two different places, and it could never work because my faith defines me. It is the essence and core of my being, and for someone not to be able to share in that chief element of who I am, I just don't see it working.

[Sozo]

Absolutely Pastor!

[wac14]

This is a great subject. First, I do not think that anyone can look at an unequally yoked relationship and say that good came out of it. I think also, many of us have probably lived through a unequally yoked relationship. I know I've been hurt being unequally yoked before. I try to ask of any relationship, even with friends, "what does this relationship or person add to my life". A unsaved or immature Christian can not add much to our lives. Not only that, but if you are Christian, church and the things of God are very important to you and take up a lot of your time. An unsaved person, just would not understand that. I have a friend right now, who is in the church but just keeps going after unsaved guys. He keep constantly getting his heart broken, over and over.

[Sozo]

You are so right Chris, many of us have been in those situations and have experience the hurt and heartbreak that come out of them. We can't change people folks and we really need to stop trying and let God do that.

[Dove]

I believe that there's nothing wrong in dating someone with different believes or even different levels of faithfulness. It can work, I've seen it work a lot of times, but it needs a lot of compromising from both sides and it's not always easy.

That's why I think that, if possible, one should date someone with similar believes, it makes a lot easier, but love is not an easy thing to predict or control and if it is mutual, why not try to overcome the differences and try to make it work out?

[Pastor Weekly]

I believe that there's nothing wrong in dating someone with different believes or even different levels of faithfulness. It can work, I've seen it work a lot of times, but it needs a lot of compromising from both sides and it's not always easy.

That's why I think that, if possible, one should date someone with similar believes, it makes a lot easier, but love is not an easy thing to predict or control and if it is mutual, why not try to overcome the differences and try to make it work out?

I can't necessarily answer for everyone in this thread who may be against it, but for my part, the Bible specifically commands against it, and I think for good reason. If a person is a Christian, that should be the defining characteristic of their lives. Many people look at religion as just an aspect of a person's life; but Christianity is about having our relationship with Jesus Christ as the focal point of our life... as the singularity through which everything else emanates. Now, that's not how it works out in many cases, unfortunately, but it should still be true of Christians.

That being said, I don't see how practical or how expedient it is to share your heart with someone who doesn't share in the single most important thing in your life--your faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and God. It's not within the realm of possibility for such a relationship to work with me. I'm consumed by my faith in Christ. I'd either drive him crazy or he'd drive me crazy. It just wouldn't work. It's imperative that I have someone who knows and loves my Lord passionately. Nothing less will do.

[Sozo]

I agree with Pastor. It's kinda like the knowledge doesn't equal permission thing. Just because it can work, doesn't mean it should. It's not healthy, spiritually, mentally, and sometimes even physically. There is a reason why the Bible has spoken against it and as believers, we should strive to make our lives match as closely as we can to the example we've been given.