Gay is the way ;)

[LoveIsMarching]

I didn't realize I was gay for about 20 years of my life. I don't know how I missed that fact, in retrospect, then again, hindsight is always 20/20! Anyway, I had always had very close relationships with women. It was easy for me to bond with them and feel comfortable with them. I just figured that was because I was one.

I had dated several (well, several for me lol) men throughout high school and college. In college I met a guy who I thought could possibly be "the one." We dated for four years and were even engaged for the last bit of our relationship. During out relationship I was consistently falling for women (even though I didn't know it at the time). It wasn't until I fell for an actual lesbian that I started thinking "hmmm," but I labeled myself as bisexual. My bf was not happy about this.

Needless to say, I was all mixed up when I fell for said lesbian. She was beautiful and I wanted so badly to be with her (and not necessarily in a sexual way). I realized that what I felt for her was more intense than what I had ever felt for a man. When she decided to go back to her ex-gf, I decided it was all a misunderstanding and decided to focus on my hetero relationship. Something just wasn't right, though. I couldn't shake that feeling.

Finally I just couldn't do it anymore. My parents were supportive and knew all about my process or realization. I finally got the courage to come out to my then bf and we broke up. He hit me with a lot of rude comments and tried very hard to keep me and to manipulate me. It wasn't the most pleasant of break ups, but we still talk occasionally.

Not long after that, I met a wonderful girl. I fell hard and fast (isn't that a lesbian trademark ;) ) and fortunately she did too! We met online, seriously by some fluke, and I was terrified to meet her in person. But she was amazing and we clicked instantly. We're still going strong, even though it's only been a few months. This is by far the healthiest relationship I've ever been in (wouldn't that shock some people!). I hope that we continue to do so well :) But at the very least, I now know who I am, which is probably the most important thing ever.

I've been lucky in the sense that most people have accepted me and my sexuality. At least the people closest to me have been supportive, so that helps face those who aren't so ok with it.

Anywayyyy, that's my story in a large nutshell, haha.

[Pastor Weekly]

That's so cool--that your family was supportive of you during your process. That's really a blessing! I, too, was blessed in the family area. Although my mother was challenged for some time, my orientation never strained our relationship, and I never doubted her, my brother's, or my grandmother's love for me. And now that I've fully come out, nobody has ever acted disrespectful toward me or said something untoward in my presence. But, that could have to do with how forthright and direct I am. They probably are smart enough not to go there with me. But still, it's been a blessing not to have conflict in my family, even in my extended family (and they're pretty homophobic, to be honest).

It's also nice you and your ex boyfriend still talk from time to time. It always makes me feel good when I see opposite-sex ex's who still have a cordial relationship, even if the break up itself might have been less than pleasant.

I wish you and your girlfriend the best!

[LoveIsMarching]

Thank you much, Pastor :) Yes, it definitely is a blessing, not to mention encouraging, when you have the support of your family. I'm sure there are members of my extended family who aren't too keen on the notion, but they don't seem to talk about it, so no biggie. Maybe for the same reason no one challenges you  

[wac14]

Yes hun, gay IS the way! I am glad that you had a good coming out experience. I will be praying for your new relationship as well. Make sure you bring your girlfriend to GCF as well!

[Sozo]

Gay is the way baby! YAY!!

I'm glad though that you have wonderful and supportive people around you, it's a blessing!

[Pastor Weekly]

Gay is the way baby! YAY!!

Sho' ya right!

[Dixie]

I understand what you felt/feel LIM. I had crushed on guys when I was younger, but I felt like I could bond closer with women and I even believed it was because I was a woman. But then I fell for 'her' and I gushed. The feeling was so intense it felt electrifying.

This time last year I had broke up with my first open girlfriend, and now she's come back and I'm contemplating whether or not I want to re-hookup with her.  

[LoveIsMarching]

I understand what you felt/feel LIM. I had crushed on guys when I was younger, but I felt like I could bond closer with women and I even believed it was because I was a woman. But then I fell for 'her' and I gushed. The feeling was so intense it felt electrifying.

This time last year I had broke up with my first open girlfriend, and now she's come back and I'm contemplating whether or not I want to re-hookup with her.  

Aw, I'm really sorry to hear that. I'm sure it's probably a tricky thing to figure out, even though I don't know anything about your relationship, circumstances, etc. I know you'll figure it out :)

[Dixie]

It is insanely confusing. I want to, but I know she's not the one. Maybe it's the companionship, maybe it's because I do care for her still, even if it is just as friend and not as a life partner. Does that make sense? I just wish the world were such that I could take her with me to church and be completely open about it without judgement. But I know if we get back together, we will be seeking an affirming church locally for us to attend together, knowing that I will likely be leaving my current church family behind.

Decisions, decisions.

[wac14]

Good luck Dixie. Always ask also in situations like this, "does this relationship benefit me or build me up". That should help your decision. I went to a conference this weekend and I realized that their are also more welcoming churches out there than I expected. I pray that God will lead you to the right one!